{Underneath the Stars.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

ファイナルファンタジーXII レヴァナント・ウイング

Addicted to FF-IIX: Revenant Wings on NDS.

Away for now. XD

Labels: FF, games, NDS, random

-; little lotte } @ 1:51 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Friday, June 27, 2008

i realised my post today is crappy. :X
and yes, i'm typing like i'm on IM. :X

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 11:26 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

2/9 and more

2/9 turns out to be a great class to teach. They are mostly well behaved and very supportive towards each other.

One of them came up and asked me if I will teach them, and if I am a fierce teacher. That got me thinking. No doubt I need to be strict with them so that I don't get clowns climbing up my back... but where do I draw the line.

So, Jess promises not do anything highly stupid, unless called for. And by highly stupid, I mean yelling at the children. I hate it anyway. :X

Went down to NTU after dinner to see DSA's preparation for tomorrow's Dancesport competition. Good lucky ladies and gentlemen!! XD I can't be there, but I will support you in my own way. And I will join you guys once my leg recovers. :)

On another note, I must take a leaf out of Mr. Mark.

Labels: DSA, random, skool

-; little lotte } @ 10:26 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Thursday, June 26, 2008

All We Need...

... is one music lesson with a bit of dancing, and then the jokers surfaced.

:X

From little angels who behaved rather well in class and along the corridors, those monkeys turned into little tykes behind my back. And if they haven't realised, I was facing the mirror in the music room, which means I can actually see these jokers really well despite my back against them.

I must remember to remind them not to kick too high next lesson. (BELOW KNEES, YOU HEAR?! AND DOWNWARDS, NOT UP! THIS IS NO KUNGFU LESSONS!!!!!) Awful lot of bruises aren't in my menu, and I certainly don't appreciate 3 Kungfu Pandas out of 30 kids in my classroom.

Oh well.

At least they appreciate Eddy Grant and eurhythmics.

Labels: music, random, skool

-; little lotte } @ 11:23 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Day2

Second day at work.

In any case, stairs are hell for cast and broken legged people like myself. But I've got to move and keep going -- I refused to bend to the wind, and I never will. I refused to sit somewhere and feel sorry for myself, just because of this accident.

These children give me a reason to love what I'm doing. Believe me, I can never get enough to going to school.

Labels: random, skool

-; little lotte } @ 11:44 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

勇氣

終於作了這個決定　別人怎麼說我不理
只要你也一樣的肯定
我願意天涯海角都隨你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直溫習說服自己
最怕你忽然說要放棄

愛真的需要勇氣　來面對流言蜚語
只要你一個眼神肯定　我的愛就有意義
我們都需要勇氣　去相信會在一起
人潮擁擠我能感覺你　放在我手心裡
你的真心

如果我的堅強任性　會不小心傷害了你
你能不能溫柔提醒　我雖然心太急
更害怕錯過你

Labels: lyrics, song, video

-; little lotte } @ 5:39 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Saturday, June 21, 2008

From steam-rolled to WUT?!

Steam-rolled kitteh toy looks a lot happier being fat. XD

First she took a seat on Joey's head...

... and then Joann gets a turn.

I refused to post up mine. XD

Labels: photo, random

-; little lotte } @ 11:51 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Friday, June 20, 2008

Life...

Life has been good to me.

I've met the most wonderful group of people who helped me through a great time, and I thank thee.

Anyway, I'll be taking a P2 class this time round. Because of the nature of my work, I have to let Epiphany know about my time, AGAIN. Sigh. I hope they understand. :X

On another note, I successfully brought a crazy phone bill of $100-over down to $40-odd. Must work harder to bring it down to $30 only 'cause I'm so strapped on cash now. Otherwise, I'm going to start hiding my phone again. :X

Labels: bill, phone, random, skool

-; little lotte } @ 5:55 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Today...

...I took maiden steps around the house in my walker and without the crutches.

XD

My brother called my walker the hockey thing. -.- Since I'm going to be stuck with my walker for a super long time, I'm going to name it Walter the Walker.

HELLO WALTER! XDDD

Labels: foot, injury, random, walker, walter

-; little lotte } @ 12:50 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Now I See

Thanks a lot you two faced people.

-; little lotte } @ 1:08 AM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Superwoman

Where can you find a mom like her?

Sometimes I wonder why I'm such a burden to her and everyone else. Of all the mothers around, she has to have a daughter like me.

Labels: mom, random

-; little lotte } @ 8:32 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Just...

just so we can see how bad it is:

:X

and yes, the red patch is all the rash i get from being in the cast. *sigh*

Labels: foot, injury, photo

-; little lotte } @ 12:53 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Officially, my cast is off.

But the same truth remains: my bone is still cracked, and it's a fact. And I need another 6 weeks at the very least.

Because of this, I can't go Perth. I'm sorry Marcus!!!! T_____________________T

Labels: foot, injury, random

-; little lotte } @ 12:25 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Lazy Afternoon

Eh, that's right.

I'm still in the midst of archiving... so if anyone has really been keeping track of my archives on this blog will actually notice the increasing number of posts particularly in 2004. I'm halfway though, into Sept only. Hopefully this process will soon be over.

In any case, it was pretty cool to read some of my old entries. Of course, half gushed about the cute guys in school (yes, me is superficial that way!), school work, and random crap that came up over time. There were some classic math jokes I used to crack especially for probability and stats (yes, I made them up while mugging! I was such an AWWWWWESUM GEEK! ^^), old scraps of notes for games, ideas for books and what have you. Of course, there were some truly awesome stuff I wrote too: alternative fairy tales AND sonnets. Oh, and I dug out some random thoughts I penned down too, after reading Totto-Chan and The Little Prince. And then there were traveling plans and backpacking plans, AND even some random things I scribbled about marriages (MILITARY WEDDING ANYONE?!) Hmmhmm...

Good old treasure eh? XD

Labels: memories

-; little lotte } @ 1:59 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Maiden trip out...

... after close to 3 weeks!

WOO!... suddenly the air is very fresh. XDDDD I was grinning like a mad person, but hey! I think I'm allowed to, because I've been trying to be super patient for the last 3 weeks.

On another note, I'm STILL shifting my archives around. :X Tough work.

Keeping my fingers crossed for Monday. I need it. :X Pray for me everyone!

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 12:51 AM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Friday, June 13, 2008

Where are you now?

I'm in the midst of shifting all my old entries from all my previous blogs into this archive so that at least things are organised.

I'm amazed by the journey that I had taken, and how far I had come. Of course, some of my recent posts are still downright childish (I won't deny my child-like side!)... but somehow, I could see myself mature as a person over time in terms of thoughts.

That came a pretty long way.

But, that is not the point of my post right now.

While shifting through my entries, I realised that there are a few people who had played a big part in my life, and still are. I realised that there are some friends who came, and then gradually faded over time. I saw how these people were a big part of my life then, and now, I don't even recognise who they are. It's the sad truth, and sometimes I wish there is a time turner, a la Harry Potter style, so that we may all go back, and set things right. But the ugly truth: we can't, and never will be able to.

But I miss them.

Time never stand still long enough to wait. I suppose we can't either, and there is only one direction, and that is forward. They had moved on. I had stayed behind long enough, clutching onto torn photographs and faded memories, refusing to accept the truth. But the time is lost, and I cannot get them back.

It is time I move on too.

But I only ask of one thing, that one day should the time comes, do think of me, as I think of each and every one of you, and remember you for the person you were when I knew you.

Labels: friends, memories, past, random, time

-; little lotte } @ 11:29 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

I really want this now...

pirates... pirates... pirates...

T______________________________T

*is broke*

Labels: aatp, baby, loli

-; little lotte } @ 7:48 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Choices choices choices...

I can't quite decide what to wear to Cosfest. I'll probably go as a Lolita on Saturday, and go as a camera person on Sunday. :X

Reason: I have to give tuition on Sunday la. Wear until so nice abit SIAO. -.-

I'm considering my VM dress ... but I realised I haven't got much stuff to coordinate with. No shoes... plus, my hair isn't long enough YET for a decent bun. *RAWR* Maybe I should wear my black music JSK and try to pass that off for Sweet Lolita with boots, stripped socks and a paperboy hat. Yes, I absolutely refused to wear something that looks remotely like a maxi pad on my head.

:X

Opinions, please?

And for everyone's sake, Cosfest is held over two days again this year at Downtown East:

- SUPER HENSHIN -
5 - 6 July 2008
Downtown East

Hope to see you guys there!

Labels: cosfest, downtown east, loli, music JSK, VM

-; little lotte } @ 2:45 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Fiasco

The whole fiasco ended.

But still I hear from you.

Every time it's always the same. Perhaps it's best we all make a clean break.

Labels: mrt guy, random

-; little lotte } @ 9:54 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Take Flight!

I'm currently comparing the air prices to Perth.

Current travel dates in mind:
(My time are mostly estimated from the flight schedule on the sites)

DEPART SIN: 28 Jul (Mon); 0900
ARRIVE PER: 28 Jul (Mon); 1430

DEPART PER: 03 Aug (Sun); 1530
ARRIVE SIN: 03 Aug (Sun); 2100

I swear UA has the most ridiculous prices I've seen in the longest time. I think the taxes far outweigh the actual price of the ticket. That said, maybe it's better I asked my dad if he can exchange those loyalty points thing for a free air ticket, so that I just have to pay for the blardy taxes and that's about it. And yes, I was looking at a freaking 4 digit, and I'm unwilling to cough out so much. :X (unless it's SIA.)

As for Tiger Airways, I'm just shocked at its EXUBERANT price. For a budget airline, its prices are DEFINITELY NOT budget. Maybe it's just my travel times. In any case, their flight out on Mon allows me to reach Perth only Tues morning 1AM. Now, that isn't the best time to trespass people's house yes? Imagine Marcus's parents waking up to a strange girl in their house the next morning: I think it's rather rude.

Next, I looked at Qantas. I never flew Qantas, but I heard the prices aren't that bad. A quick check, and I got $900 (SGD, rounded up!), plus the taxes and stuff. It's good price all right, and I'm rather pleased. SIA is also another option I'm considering. Now, I admit, the price for flying with SIA is pure madness. The total came up to around $1K (SGD, rounded up again) BUT, I recall the wonderful services when I flew with them to Perth like dunno how many years back.

Of course, 100$ diff between Qantas and SIA can add up to a lot... but we'll see how. I still need to discuss with my parents. But I'm pampered, and my mind is pretty much set on either SIA or Qantas. It's a pity I'm going there on my own. If I've another buddy going with me, I can get SIA tickets for two at only $800... T___________T

AND YES... JESS IS PAMPERED. I REFUSED TO FLY BUDGET UNLESS I'M CONVINCED I HAVE A SUPER GOOD DEAL. MUAHA!

Labels: flight, perth, prices, random

-; little lotte } @ 6:58 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

After...

After angst-ing at 3, 4am in the morning, I woke up feeling better.

Less of those nightmares... but still, I'm afraid to go to sleep at night. :X

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 5:02 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

I'm afraid

... to tell you how I really feel.

Pride had made me lost so much. Yet, I still cling on stubbornly because I'm afraid of what you think of me.

[[ edit: 3:25am ]]

Insomnia plagues.

Each night my thoughts ran. I know I can never gather them.

Deep down inside, I'm guilt ridden.

Each night, I slip into another reality where the real and my thoughts blend. I cannot tell one apart from another. I cannot break free of these chains that tie me down.

I'm suffocating.

Still I claw and tear, trying to fight my way out.

But I cannot fight. I cannot destroy the monster within. And it is eating me.

When will this nightmare ever end?

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 12:50 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Chocolate Fondue

Today, we de-flowered Viv's fondue set. MUAHA! Lost its virginity with a group of 5 groping people.

As usual, Naz is late! -.- He turned up AFTER we finished cutting up bananas, apples and all the other prep. Oh well. At least he had the lighter, and he helped us stirred the chocolate when it got too thick. And that silly guy forgot my Kit Kat!! T__________T I'm so going to make him come down again, so I can have my green tea Kit Kat. ^^

Anyway, in addition to the fondue set, Viv brought some Turkish Delights and Turkish apple tea too. I swear all these things are addictive. I can't get enough of the chocolates, sweets and tea! XD She told us about her trip to Greece and Turkey, and I kind of wish I can go too! So, I'm going to save up my money so one day, I can go backpacking there. XDDDD

And now, I think we're going to plan a trip to Nathan's... complete with BBQ of course! I wonder what Nathan will think since we sort of decided to that without telling him. *Evil*

Labels: fondue, random

-; little lotte } @ 8:21 PM
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~~the superficial world.~~

6 more...

6 more days till the cast comes off. That is, provided I've recovered.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Fondue later with Viv, Jae, Xuwen and Naz.

Naz said he will bring durian for dipping, and green tea Kit Kat for me (wafer, green tea and chocolates -- 3 in 1)! XD I hope he forgets abt the durian (Viv LAWL-ed when I told her; bickering buddy said it's living life on the edge. Personally, I think Naz is being idiotic, haha...) and remembers the Kit Kat.

XDDDDD

Labels: fondue, random

-; little lotte } @ 2:04 AM
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~~the superficial world.~~

Dream Theatre: Overture 1928, Strange Deja Vu

Love this song from DT. :D Coolness and awesome fingers. ^^

Labels: music, song, video

-; little lotte } @ 2:03 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Tsukiko Amano: Koe

I can't find the lyrics. But I love the discordant chords in the beginning. And Tsukiko's tattoo on her arm -- WOAH!~

Labels: music, song, tattoo, video

-; little lotte } @ 1:54 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Truth - Yuna Ito

Let me stay with you
傷つけあうのに
何故こんなに
求めてしまうの
Don’t you know my heart
素直になれずにいたの
ただひとつの愛が欲しいのに…

めぐり逢えた奇跡を信じて
奏でて行きたい
あなたへのmelody
もしもすべてを
失くしてしまっても
この思いは永遠なの
It’s my Truth

Believe in yourself
つまずいたときも
歩いてきた　涙を拭って
Open up your heart
想い出の先にきっと
明日という　希望があるから

Give me your Loneliness
and I’ll give you my Tenderness
忘れないでいて
あの日みた夢を
離れていても
この胸にいつでも
感じている
あなただけを
It’s my Truth

散らばる星が囁きかける
戸惑う心を照らしながら
出逢いと別れ　人は探すの
いつか結び合える強い絆を

世界中の悲しみをすべて
受け止めてもいい
あなたの為なら
世界中から置き去りにされても
その瞳を信じている
It’s my Truth

*****

Translation to English:
Let me stay with you even if it hurts both of us
Why must I always demand so much
Don’t you know my heart could never stay put
There’s simply only one love I want

Believing in miracles we can come across
I go on playing a melody for you
Even if I end up losing everything
This feeling is forever, It’s my truth

Believe in yourself even when you stumble
Wipe your tears as you walk on
Open up your heart beyond the memories, surely
There is a hope we call tomorrow

Give me your loneliness
and I’ll give you my tenderness
Don’t forget the dream we saw that day
Even if we’re separated, in this heart
I will feel you forever, It’s my truth

Your whisper reaches the scattered stars
Illuminating my confused heart
In every encounter and farewell, what people search for is
This strong bond that will unite them someday

All the sadness throughout the world
If it’s for you, I can take it all in
Even if the whole world deserts me
I believe in those eyes, It’s my truth

*****

Let me stay with you
Kizutsuke au no ni
Naze konna ni
Motomete shimau no
Don’t you know my heart
Sunao ni narezu ni ita no
Tada hitotsu no ai ga hoshii no ni...

Meguri aeta kiseki wo shinjite
Kanade te yukitai
Anata he no melody
Moshimo subete wo
Naku shite shimatte mo
Kono omoi wa eien na no
It’s my Truth

Believe in yourself
Tsumazuita toki mo
Aruite kita namida wo nugutte
Open up your heart
Omoide no saki ni kitto
Ashita toiu kibou ga aru kara

Give me your Loneliness
and I’ll give you my Tenderness
Wasure nai de ite
Ano hi mita yume wo
Hanarete ite mo
Kono mune ni itsudemo
Kanjite iru
Anata dake wo
It’s my Truth

Chirabaru hoshi ga sasayaki kakeru
Tomadou kokoro wo terashi nagara
Deai to wakare hito wa sagasu no
Itsuka musubi aeru tsuyoi kizuna wo

Sekaijuu no kanashimi wo subete
Uke tomete mo ii
Anata no tame nara
Sekaijuu kara okizari ni sarete mo
Sono hitomi wo shinjite iru
It’s my Truth

*****

Labels: lyrics, music, song, video

-; little lotte } @ 11:49 PM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

too sweet

Some days just feel like dreams.

And I never want to wake from these dreams to face my broken reality.

Yesterday had been lovely. I felt happier than I did for many days. Maybe it's Naz's company, maybe it's just the lame videos or maybe it's something else: something I still refused to acknowledge within.

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 12:48 PM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Friday, June 6, 2008

Goodnight

A song by Evanescence:

Goodnight, sleep tight
No more tears
In the morning I'll be here
And when we say goodnight,
Dry your eyes
Because we said goodnight,
And not goodbye
We said goodnight
And not goodbye

I call this a haunting lullaby. Anyway, I'm starting to fall in love with the Gothic again.

Labels: lyrics, music, random, video

-; little lotte } @ 12:17 PM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

18 going 3?!

I googled 'cheerleading' and this is one blog that came up.

It's amazing how limited her vocabulary is. At 18, she sounds like a complete retard.

ok updating!!
hmm...
poly is FUN.
my class people are fun people too! everywhere also together. damn funny.
haha. before class after class everybody also dont seem to want to seperate.
work seems to be pretty alright. except for engineering fundamentals. that one can go die la. i dont understand anything at all! but its good i get to study math math and math. so many math la! my favourite. haha! but then i would be having some problems catching up cause everybody in my course took a-math before. so the things they study would be familiar. but for me i would have to learn everything from scratch.
ok nevermind
hmm.. engineering school really got alot of guys. like probably 7/10 are guys in the whole engine school.

so hows life for me? school is fun. work is cool. friends are cooler. love life horrible sucky disgustingly boring whatever idontcare fucked up tremendously nothing? ok whatever. loneliness? maybe? but then school helps to occupy almost all my time.
benjamin is nice. celeste is nice. i think ting fong is cute. oh whatever.
that jap guy in bze is super cuter can. but also whatever.
seriously my love life can just go die. jacky is naughty but why he like that lei? ok no one will know what i mean.. whatever again.

life good ? bad? goodbad.

studies .. good fun? goodfun.. (:

by the way i joined cheerleading. =D
cool huh. but i scared i have to be thrown up into the air and spin around and fall back down.. =.=

last saturday was such a freaking waste. i hate but love it. saturday..
why i keep thinking of it! it was just so close yet so far. whatever. i wish i could finish my life up.. but im not done enjoying. and im enough of feeling this way. no one will understand what im talking about haha.

strawberry lollipop is nice.
byebye

Seriously. What the fuck was that?!

Yes, I'm being very mean and bitchy today.

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 11:56 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Thursday, June 5, 2008

"pui"

From now onwards, Marcus will be known as car dealer!!

>.<

That's for saying:

.mARCus. says (10:46 PM):
"you dont only get a nice car, you get a little girl along with it!"

BLEAH! I'm not a little girl!! -.-

Labels: cars, random

-; little lotte } @ 10:55 PM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

I...

I actually did ok for school with a 3.65 average. Well, nothing fantastic but I'm seeing an improvement here, and I must remember not to get complacent, and continue keeping this cool head.

Considering my CAP has been dropping from year 1, from 3.9 to a miserable 3.5-something last sem, I was almost nervous that I wasn't going to perform. I guess getting the stipend from MOE was a good thing because it spurred me to work harder.

I seriously thought I was going to get Cs for both English AND Music again, and maybe screw up Dramaturgy really badly, since I performed less than satisfactory, according to my books. Which pushes me to work extra hard for Directing class. But anyway, my fears are unfounded this time, and I actually got Bs for English AND Music, and an A- for Dramaturgy.

Gotta thank those last min life-savers: old and abandoned Literature notes from JC, my ridiculous love for philosophy of Nonsense Literature, feminist readings I dug out from nowhere, psychoanalysis (YOU'VE SAVED MY ARSE LIKE THREE TIMES NOW!! I'M SO DOING A PHD ON THIS!!!!!) and other minor what have yous. Oh yes, not forgetting the people who encouraged and inspired me along the way. You guys are cool -- I love all of you! <3<3<3 :D

I'm sure life is going to get better from here. I may even pull my CAP back to my 3.9 by graduation. One semester more, and I'm going to prove my worth! And yes, I'm going to make sure I recover in the next 10 days, so that I don't have to re-do my practicum because re-doing will tag another 2 blardy sems to my uni life. (Imagine spending 5 years in uni for a 4 year course!) The horror is unimaginable; I've screwed up enough of my life, spending 3 years in a 2 years JC, and barely made past anything else, always mediocre and below average in comparison to smarter cousins and witty brothers. Being tagged a failure for almost 23 years of my life hadn't gotten me very far, but then again, I've always appreciate living life the way I want to.

For someone who never gives a damn about schoolwork, and someone who severely lacks ambition, I guess something must have inspired me to go further than I really could imagine. That said, I'm good, and I know that. And nothing is going to stop me from achieving at what I do best. :)

Labels: random, skool

-; little lotte } @ 1:24 PM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Monotony

Life is starting to fall into some sort of monotony for me, since I do just about the same thing everyday. It sucks though, cos I really hate living life this way, but there is nothing I can really do about it anyway.

It's a complete pain in the butt to know that even the smallest thing I do now requires much force and plenty assistance. Makes me feel really miserable since I hate having people doing things for me. Perhaps this is God's way of serving me a humble pie, and telling me it's time I learn to keep my pride in check. After all, being vulnerable irks me; I'll gladly get things done on my own.

I guess this period of time is also a time for me to catch up with certain people. After all, I haven enough times at hand to actually do something about some friendships that were lost. But I couldn't do anything because some are simply just too hard. Or maybe I'm afraid to try.

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 10:27 AM
0 comments

~~the superficial world.~~

Monday, June 2, 2008

Time...

... to put my sketchbooks to use. :)

Can't wait to see my journals on Thurs.

Labels: random

-; little lotte } @ 11:47 PM
1 comments

~~the superficial world.~~